Moms! Share Your Birth Story!

[Mommy]

Alrighty Moms! I certainly don't have any birthing and labor experience- but you guys do!! Share what you feel comfortable sharing about your birthing experience!! Give recommendations- is it better to go natural or do you recommend an epi? Doctor or midwife? Share that expertise!

[laura]

I have no experience with a midwife so I won't even go there. I saw a doctor.

As far as an epi...well, it's all based on your pain threshold. I was induced, therefore, it makes the labor longer and more painful contractions from the start.

My story: I went into the hospital saying I DO NOT want an epidural. My labor started when I was induced at 8am. The nurse asked me to rate my pain from 1-10 (10 being the worst). I told her that if I got to 10, I would get an epidural. I figured that I wouldn't get past 5...I have a high tolerance for pain.

My pain rating was slowly creaping up the first 5 hours. Come, 3:00 I was at a 6 in my own personal pain-rating-scale. During all this time of course we're waiting for me to become fully dialated. Come 3:30 they checked me and I was still only 6 centimeters (out of 10!)

A fast 30 minutes later the contractions go so intense that I said my pain was at a 9 (I was thinking I was still only 6 centimeters). Nope! They checked me again, and the reason the contractions got so bad was because I had dialated 4 centimeters in 30 minutes. I was 10!! The baby was coming!

The doctor wasn't there, but my body wanted to push! That's the beauty of the way God created it...you actually WANT TO PUSH! When the doctor got there at 4:20 (time flies during the later stages of labor by the way) my son was born at 4:51pm on January 9, 2003!

So....9 hour labor....in epidural. Yay!

I remember it like it was yesterday, and I remember some of the pain too. =)

My recommendation: if you don't want the epi...then set your mind to it! And you CAN do it. If you want it...get it! It will make the process easier.

Pros of an epi:
• Shorter labor because the body dialates faster when you're relaxed.
• Don't feel the contractions as bad
• Won't feel the pain


Cons of an epi:
• Needle!
• Can't walk right after birth, need to wait for epi to wear off.
• Won't feel the complete experience

This is my opinion and my experience.
Thanks for letting me share...it's been a while.


Laura

[renee23k]

No baby here, but thought I would share what I've observed while doing my labor and delivery time at work.

Your first baby is going to take a longer time than if this were your 2nd or 3rd birth (in theory)

Epidurals usually prolong the labor.

I've heard a lot of mama's say that having a nurse midwife or a midwife is a lot more personable than using a doctor. Of course, it would also depend on what doc you were using

I always read that when pain meds are used that the baby is not as alert when it's first born, but the ones I have seen so far have been quite alert.

If you think there might be even a slight chance you want an epi, please, please dont wait til it's too late. Alot of moms do that and by the time they want it, they can't have it any more. ( I think it's by the time you're fully dialated, butI can't be sure). Some of the moms who do no pain management say that it makes the birth feel more special because they have to work harder for it. I personally want all the pain medicine I can get when my time comes hehe

[Nim]

I remember being SOOOOO scared that last month of my pregnancy. I had this HUGE lump in my belly and I remember looking down at it and thinking .. 'How are they gonna get this thing OUT?' (I was in major denial. )

Personally, I would have preferred a midwife, but I was 36 years old when I had my son, so it was considered a high-risk pregnancy and that wasn't an option. Otherwise, that's what I would have done.

As it turns out, they induced my labor. I got late-term, borderline gestational diabetes and they didn't want the little guy to get too big. I had heard that inducing was much more traumatic and painful than natural labor, but I had nothing to compare with. It seemed fine to me. The pain started out slowly (kinda like menstruation pains) and increased over time. I brought a cute picture that I love of a kitten nestled asleep in a typewriter and I focussed on that when it got more intense. That, and the breathing, really helped.

As time went on, the pains got closer together and so I asked for an epidural. (I had decided that I would go that route ahead of time. I have a high threshold of pain, but I'm also a bit of a wimp. )

The epidural was not a lot of fun to receive. They tell you to stay real still and that took a lot of concentration. I counted out loud and that helped a lot. (By this point, I did not care if I looked or sounded silly at all.) I hugged David while they did the deed. Once it was in, it was BLISS. The pain was gone completely and I could relax. I could still feel my legs and move them. The pain was just gone. I also felt slightly loopy. Docs said this was the drug leaking from my spine a bit and perfectly normal. I was happy. I think I even dozed a little.

My labor stalled out at four centimeters. The docs had me lay on my side and this messed up the epi so that I began to have pains on one side of my abdomen but not the other. That was weird. As time went on, it was decided that I should have a C-section. (Still not sure why that was.) They gave me another epi (sort of) but much stronger. This time, I could not feel anything below my waist at all. Nor could I move my legs.

The C-section was kinda scary. I was awake for the whole thing and I was afraid it might hurt. But it didn't hurt at all and my DH was by my side for the whole thing. As soon as the baby was out, he let the world know that he had arrived and was not the LEAST bit amused about being taken from his warm nesting place. That cry was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard and it has only recently been outdone by the sound of his laughter.

When I saw my son for the first time, he looked nothing like I expected. My DH has jet black hair (he is hispanic) and my son had blond hair! I had had very many dreams about this child, but the baby they presented to me looked nothing like the babies of my dreams. But the coolest thing was - I recognized him. It was a feeling of, 'Oh! It's YOU!'

Bottom line: No matter what you go through to get there, it'll all be worth every second of it and you will swear you'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Very very cool. You are in for the biggest treat of your life, Liz.

[laura]

Nim,
Great story! Thanks for sharing!

I want to make a correction on my post:
So....9 hour labor....NO epidural. (I put IN Epidural for some reason).

Also....Liz.......
Another thing we didn't mention....once the baby is born the cramps, contractions, pain goes away and you are so in love, and so happy!! It's a miracle!

Warning:
NO ONE told me this part:
After the birth you will bleed for about 6 weeks (this is your body getting even with you for not having a period for 9 months) They will give you these HUGE pads to wear and ice-packs are GREAT. I just wanted you to know because I had NOOOO clue!

[renee23k]

Oh gosh, Laura brought up a good point. No one I ever talk to who has not had a baby knows about lochia (the bleeding after you have a baby). It will last for several weeks varying for each woman. I think women who breastfeed have a longer period than women who dont.

Another thing about breastfeeding, besides from offering your baby lots of natural immunity and being very easy to digest, you also lose weight much faster. In pregnancy, a woman needs about 200 more calories a day, but when she breastfeeds she needs 300 more than when she was pregnant. Breastfeeding also helps the uterus to contract back to its normal size.

Now, some mean nurse or doctor is going to come into your room after you have your baby and press on your tummy and massage the fundus of your uterus. Most women do not like this, and I can imagine why hehe. Hmm what else?

Episiotomies. This is when the doc makes an incision in the perineum so you dont tear. Now, a good doc will try to massage that area as it helps ease things a bit. Try and find out if your doc (or midwife) often does these. I know of one doc who does it every time, just automatically. Then, I know some docs who think tearing is better. Also, try and figure out if they do the midline episiotomy or the side ways one. (I can't remember the technical names for them.) The midline one is the best, as the other one cuts deep into muscle and is more painful. They will usually give you a local anesthetic if they decide to do one.

However, there will be sitz baths and compresses made available if you have one.

These are just a few things that I was surprised to learn while in nursing school. If I think of any more , I will post them

[renee23k]

One more thing. Not trying to harp on the breastfeeding, but it's much more convinient now a days to do it. There are portable breast pumps with a cooler in them that look like breifcases. There are several women I work with that bring them in. One lady has been breastfeeding for a whole year! I can't even imagine that. Anyway, just thought I would add that. I'm on a breastfeeding kick right now, they have me working with the lactaction specialist this week hehe.

[Nim]

I gotta say I highly (HIGHLY) recommend breastfeeding! I did it, mainly because I couldn't internally justify NOT doing it based on all that I had read about its benefits to the baby. I didn't really want to. But then, the most amazing thing happened and I absolutely fell in LOVE with the process. In fact, when I had to give it up after two months because of my son's condition, I was heartbroken. Given the chance, I would have happily breastfed until he was at least one year - maybe longer.

But just those eight short weeks made all the difference in the world! He must have received a massive amount of antibodies because my boy just doesn't get sick! He's had a cold twice in his life and both times he was over it after just two days. And each time, those two days weren't all that bad.

My suggestion would be to strongly consider it if you haven't already. Research the pros and cons. And give it an honest try. Lots of people think it just comes naturally both to Mommy and Baby, (and then get instantly discouraged when it doesn't) but that's just not so. Often, both have to practice a little before it becomes easy. I had a lactation consultant visit me and show me how to get him to latch on and it was smooth sailing from there on out. And SUCH a bonding experience!

Can you tell I really loved it?

[Mommy]

It is definitely my intention to breastfeed. And I will be pumping even befor going back to work because I want Jeff to be part of feeding, too. And since he isn't equipped...

[laura]

I am happy that you are going to breast feed! Great deicison. =)

I agree with you on wanting the Daddy to bond too...that's great that you feel that way! It's important for Daddy and baby that they get to do that.

Tip (from experience)...I did not produce enough milk when I was breastfeeding. I didn't know it until months had past and my son was getting less and less. Some ways to tell: I didn't leak at all, Pumping never worked for me (electric or manual), I never felt painfully "full", and my son was hungry every 2 hours instead of the typical 3-4.

I supplemented and breast fed...but I had to stop breastfeeding at 6 months old (I am happy I am least got to do that!) because I literally RAN OUT of milk, I was not producing anymore.

If you see those signs (I wish I had known this then!)...they make vitamins that you can take to increase your milk supply. I only found this out AFTER I ran out of milk!

p.s....
My mom pumped buckets (practically) when she was breastfeeding me. I couldn't pump at all. Sometimes you don't know. I just wanted to let you know...if it happens to you...there is something you can do about it.

[Nim]

I know there are several things that can affect milk supply and the most surprising to me was pumping! Turns out that Baby is wayyy better at getting that milk than the pump is, and Moms who pump very often (or with a substandard pump like I did) actually lower their supply! Basically, the way it was explained to me, since the pump doesn't work as well as the baby, Mom removes less milk from the breast than Baby would. The breast creates milk in direct proportion to the 'perceived' need. (Who knew a breast could perceive? Anyway, that's how I understand it.

Another thing that can lower supply is supplementing with formula. This is because the baby 'requests' less breastmilk and therefore the breast produces less. Also, bottles are much easier to drink from than breasts, so babies often prefer the bottle and take more and more supplementation and less and less breastmilk. (This last point is actually one of the theories behind lower ear infection problems in breastfed babies because they work their jaw muscles so hard when they eat and it's supposed to be good for them.)

I'll tell you this much. When I was breastfeeding, I wished there was a level indicator to let me know my little guy was getting enough. It's a real exercise in trust in your own body - at least for me it was.